How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
