i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The air was thick with penises
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
