But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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