I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
