Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Randomize
