I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
