I am in a vortex of obligation.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
