I think im going to throw up on grandma
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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