First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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