You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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