Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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