We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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