i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
PANTIES FOUND
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