great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
