But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
