just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
