think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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