I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
