Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't turn off my feet"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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