it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
