Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Everclear isn't food dammit
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
