The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
