i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
