i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
