you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
