real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
