you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
