Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
