we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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