My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
