Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
