The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
