True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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