if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
