The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
