I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
