If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
