I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
