we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm at about main and main street
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
