i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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