I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
