Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
