I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
A bitchslap is in order.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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