Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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