i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
there was a trapeze. enough said
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
