May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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