Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
