i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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