Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he high fived his dick after we had sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
