Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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