Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize