hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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