I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I wear drunk well.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
