I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
