Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
