Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Are we still banned from the library?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Still dying that you shit outside
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize