K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
