I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize