I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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