Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
