fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
