I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
