I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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