Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
